Counting on Forever
by ObsessionOfCastle
Summary: Their worst nightmares came to life when Kate opened the loft door to Javier, Ryan, the Captain and another officer. "Beckett?..Can we come in. We have some bad news." (CHARACTER DEATH) Please read? and review if you like? -One shot-


_A/N: I was inspired to write this little fic when I listened to 'Just a dream' By Carrie Underwood. Sad song, to go with a sad story. NOT a songfic. Just a song inspired me to write this. There is a character death in this! This is your warning! ~I~_

* * *

Castle was fine with watching Beckett do paperwork. Her on the other hand._ 'It's creepy, Castle.'_ He still remembered it as if it was yesterday. He smiled unexpectedly, causing her to raise an eyebrow in concern and of her own curious mind.

"You okay, Castle?" He jerked in fear for a moment before giving her a laugh.

"Nope. Just watching how beautiful you look when you're focused." That earned him a blush and a glance down. He teased her so well. He continued to take his time, observing her, before he heard the Captain's voice.

"Mister Castle? My office please?" Beckett looked like she was the slightest away from laughing her butt off and falling out of her chair. Castle tried to figure out what the head of the precinct wanted. He was behaving. What could she possibly want? She closed the door behind him, crossing her arms.

"I have a favor for you, Richard Castle." She bluntly told him. Castle swallowed. This couldn't be good. "You, will be going undercover as a CIA agent, trying to lure in this suspect we need. I can't have one of my Detectives, because he's studied them all. The guy doesn't read, lives all by himself. I'm sure he won't recognize you." Castle didn't like this. Not one bit. He took the offer anyway, how was he going to explain this to his girlfriend? Kate would know when he's lying. She would do anything to make sure he was off of this offer. What could make her believe him?_ 'Signings... yeah.'_ The moment he left the Captain's lair, she ran to him.

"What did she want?" Castle put on a fake smile, that he hoped could fool the woman he loved.

"She just wanted to know when I was leaving for my book signings. Which is tomorrow. I'll be gone for a few weeks. But I promise. I'll make it up for you when I get back. Promise."

* * *

Hours passed before it was time for Castle to get going. He and Beckett had the last fun they would have with each other for weeks. He smiled at her saddened frown and kissed it, to make it turn upside down. "I'll be back before you know it." He told her, giving his daughter a hug and kiss before he left. That was the last time Kate and Alexis ever saw him. Weeks had flown by, Kate tried to contact him, but without success. She thought he was just busy. She left him a bunch of messages. Alexis explained to Kate she thought something was wrong. That he wouldn't bail on them like that. But Kate calmed her down. Their worst nightmares came to life when Kate opened the loft door to Javier, Ryan, the Captain and another officer.

"Beckett?..Can we come in. We have some bad news." Alexis heard voices and appeared in the living room.

* * *

"It's my dad.. isn't it?" Alexis sputtered out. Kate went all over the place. Everyone tried to get the two woman to sit down, even though Alexis did Kate wasn't that convincing.

"What happened?" She demanded her colleagues to tell her. Ryan bit his lip, eying the two woman.

"He was killed.. undercover." Alexis broke. She started to ball, running into Martha's arms who just came down. She heard only the last part. She was frozen in shock, and hurt. Kate started to shake her head.

"No.. He was at a book signing. he wasn't undercover. He wasn't-" She looked at the Captain. The Captain had on a hard, but saddened face. "W-Why.. Why! she screamed, turning away.

"Beckett. Please, you need to calm down-" Esposito tried to convince her.

"No! You don't understand. I can't do this without him!" Alexis turned to hear father's girlfriend as Ryan spoke up.

"Do what? You have us, Alexis, Martha-" She interrupted him, with shocking news.

"I can't raise a child without him!"

* * *

Everyone had calmed down and they convinced Beckett to come and confirm his body. Alexis and Martha came as well. They needed to see it for themselves. When they arrived, Lanie was in tears. Lanie rarely cried. It had to be true. The three walked in. Martha going up with Alexis. The moment the cover was lifted, Alexis balled into her grandmother's waiting embrace as she bit her lip, as a tear escaped. She nodded, approving that was her son and left with Alexis to calm down. Kate walked close, tears pooling in her eyes as she looked into his face. He had defensive wounds. Why did he even agree to this favor? Did he even know what it would do to his family or her if this were to happen? She let out a soft sob, covering her mouth as Lanie brought her out.

"Girl, I'm so sorry. I nearly had a heart attack seeing him. I didn't want to believe it either." Kate was in a complete hysterics.

"Why did he do it, Lanie?" Lanie swallowed hard.

"He was told to lure a suspect in. Which he did. It seems he ran into someone that was still hunting you. They knew where you were. He was protecting you. He gave the guy a great beating before the man pulled the trigger." Kate's tears fell from the pools in her eyes they were resting in.

"This is my fault." Lanie shook her head.

"No, it's not. You couldn't have done anything sweetie. None of this is your fault." She continued to comfort her friend.

* * *

The funeral soon came, and everyone gave their speeches. She couldn't go up there and tell how much she loved him. How many times he saved her life and how many people she would kill for him to be beside her right then and there. The funeral was over as she approached her boyfriend's dead body. She left him a kiss on his forehead as she rubbed his cheek.

"I'm so sorry Rick..I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry you won't be here to see our little one make it's first steps. Or hear it say, 'Dada'. It's all my fault. I wish I was here, lying in this coffin. I deserved it, not you." She sighed, tears falling onto his white shirt. "I love you.. I'm sorry I never said it before.. and I wish I had..I'll miss you so much." She confessed, giving him more kiss before she was pulled away so they could bury his clean body.

* * *

Three and half years passed since that dreadful day. Kate gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy that she named James Richard Castle. James after her father and Richard after his dad that would have spoiled him to the end of time. Kate was a great mother, especially with Martha and Alexis' help every once in a while. Jamie understood why his daddy wasn't there. He died protecting him and his mommy. Mommy still had those dreams that made her cry.

* * *

_Kate opened her eyes to the sound of his voice calling her. She sat up, seeing Richard Castle's extended hand. "Castle?" She asked, catching his charming grin as he pulled her to her feet._

_"I always knew you'd be a great mother. I've watched you tell stories of my adventures, our adventures. He knows I'm watching over you, him, Lex and my mother. He knows I'm watching all over the world to make sure you guys are all safe. I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I wasn't going to let him get away and potentially send you to your death early. I remember Tyson told me,_ 'How close to death do you really want to get?'_ And I got too far that day. I'm sorry I had to leave you. I know you've felt alone. But you're not alone, Kate. You have the boys, Lanie, you dad, my mother, Alexis, our little boy. But most importantly, you have me. Even if I'm not physically there, I'm always with you. Here." He poked her chest as he grabbed her hands, pulling her close. "I see how you're teaching him everything. He knows I love him, and he knows very well I love you. I always will. Even when I'm dead. I won't ever stop loving you. My love for you never ends. Teach him how to love like us. And please, find another love. I don't want you crying yourself to sleep every night." Kate shook her head._

_"I'm not going to choose another person to love like I loved you. I loved you with every piece of my heart and the only person, only /boy/ that will get that besides you, is our son. I love him with every piece of me. My love for him will never stop, just like my love for you. I'm so afraid I'm going to screw up, do something wrong and he'll hate me-" Castle put his finger to her lips._

_"Don't ever say that. You are doing wonderful, and you will continue to do just that." He turned around before turning back. "I have to go. I love you, forever and always." he promised, kissing her one last time before he disappeared._

* * *

"No! Please. Castle! Rick come back! Please don't leave me. Rick!" She cried out, Jamie came running in and crawling into her bed.

"Mommy?! Mommy. Wake's up." Kate jolted up.

"It's okay buddy. I'm okay. I just miss your daddy." Jamie nodded.

"I misses him too, Mommy. But he's watchin' us. He'll never evers leave us." He hugged his mom, who let her tears fall as she hugged her son tight.

"I love you Buddy." _'I love you too, Castle.'_ She thought up to him.

* * *

_A/N: Don't kill me.. I'd cried a million times writing this. :''( ~I~_


End file.
